


insecurities

by nakimdoyu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Married, Domestic Fluff, Doyu, Husbands, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, auditor! yuta, doyoung is a clumsy little mess who says things he doesn't mean when he panics, doyoung just misses yuta, needy doyoung, yuta is busy af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-12-07 13:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18235379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakimdoyu/pseuds/nakimdoyu
Summary: Everyone has insecurities, and Doyoung is no exception.





	insecurities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xiurora (suhrene)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suhrene/gifts).



> I haven't been writing for a while but this idea came to me while bickering with Ali the other night so I had to get it out of my system and made it into a tweetfic.
> 
> This is just me putting my writing in one place. Plus, I'm just an actual DoYu trash and this is the first ever proper DoYu I finished so enjoy!

Everyone has insecurities, and Doyoung is no exception.

But his one particular insecurity manifests in the form of Yuta who hasn’t physically spoken a total of 100 words to him since Monday, or hasn’t been able to. Doyoung’s kinda lost track of how long it has been. All he knows is that it’s been too long and he’s starved of affection.

It’s not that Yuta has been giving him no affection at all, because though he’s been leaving for work at 7am the latest this week, he never missed kissing Doyoung’s forehead before heading out. Because on Tuesday and Wednesday, Yuta sent him a text during lunch hour, reminding him to eat because he knows how Doyoung forgets to when work gets a little crazy. Because Yuta who is well-acquainted with Doyoung’s daily routine from the moment he wakes up to right before he falls asleep, texted him a “good night, love you so much 💕” on nights he stayed a little too late at the office, right when Doyoung was just getting under the covers to go to sleep.

The heart emoji would vary though, ranging from 18 different ones including ‘<3’. One of those nights, Yuta actually used them all.

But something, maybe his ego, tells him that that’s not enough. That that’s not what matters. That he wants it extravagant. Something like a makeout session. Or shower sex.

 Yeah, shower sex.

In the back of his mind, there’s a voice that keeps telling him that “it’s peak period”, that “this happens every year, you’ve seen this before”, and that “Yuta just became the Assistant Manager, and he’s leading the audit of a big firm.” But there’s another voice, his own voice but softer, almost whispering, telling him that “maybe Yuta doesn’t want you anymore.”

Of course, being the insecure little shit that he is, he listens to the latter.

It’s Friday. Yuta never comes home late on Fridays. Therefore, tonight, he’s going to talk to Yuta about it. He’s going to talk to Yuta about how he hasn’t been receiving enough affection from the other.

But Doyoung forgot that he’s never good with talking things out. He always initiates it wrongly, or says the wrong thing, or just ends up bringing up a different issue entirely. Yuta is the level-headed one between them, the calm and collected one, and most importantly, the one that keeps him intact.

Yuta is the one who’s good at talking things out.

So here he is, sitting on the couch in their living room with the remote control in his hands, fidgeting with it while waiting for Yuta to come home. There’s a random cooking show playing on Food Network channel, but he pays no attention to it.

When he hears the jingling of keys outside, he freezes. This is it. Yuta is here. He’s going to do this.

He keeps mentally giving himself a pep talk. But the moment the door creaks open, cold sweat starts to form on the back of his neck. “You haven’t even seen his face yet!” he scolds himself.

“Hey, babe.” The hand that gently grabs his shoulder from behind makes him sit up straighter.

When Yuta leans in to kiss his cheek, he retreats. Yuta, confused, raises his eyebrows, trying to make sense of what’s going on.

“We need to talk.” There it is. He got that out there now. He can definitely do this. He just needs Yuta to sit down and he will do the talking.

“Okay,” Yuta says, his voice steady. Doyoung hates it, hates it so much, how Yuta is always so calm. If it was him, he would’ve flipped and freaked the hell out. Those four words scream ‘run!’

When Yuta takes a seat across from him on the three-seater, he looks up to meet Yuta’s eyes. His husband looks so tired, so worn out, and Doyoung isn’t sure if he’s seeing things, but Yuta looks like he’s lost some weight. Doyoung suddenly feels so guilty for what he’s about to do, his mind going a mile a minute, thinking of all the possibilities that this ‘talk’ could go wrong, could hurt Yuta’s feelings, could—

“Do you want a divorce?”

Fuck.

Silence. A deafening one. Doyoung thinks his eardrums are about to rupture.

But Yuta saves him. “What? Why?”

It hits him, he really sucks at talking things out. He ruined it the moment he started. This wasn’t what he planned to talk about at all!

“I don’t know, you’ve been so distant. Maybe you don’t love me anymore,” he reasons, a little too vaguely.

The way Yuta is looking at him right now makes him wanna curl into a ball and hide in their laundry room, because that room is so dark when nobody is using it. Yuta doesn’t look angry, but he looks so, so, so, so sad. And Doyoung hates sadness on Yuta’s pretty face.

He’s two seconds away from launching himself onto Yuta’s lap and kissing the frown away when Yuta asks, “What do you mean?” There’s a tremor in his voice, one that makes Doyoung’s resolve shake, one that makes his own heart break.

What has he done?

He looks down to his own hands in his lap, trying to think of a way to say this without sounding so petty. Because if he’s being honest, the way he started that conversation was like dropping a bomb when the real issue is just a spark from a lit firecracker. 

He knows Yuta would’ve understood if he had just said it as it was instead of pulling this whole suspense thing. So, trying to get the real issue out there right now feels so embarrassing.

“I...I don’t know. I just...I don’t know,” he stammers, a little defeated. He hates himself right now. How can he act like he’s the only one hurting here when Yuta literally has no clue of what’s going on and is trying to understand with only being able to see the surface of the whole thing. His stupidly vague explanations aren’t helping either of them at all.

When Yuta reaches for his hand, he sucks in a sharp breath, looking up to meet Yuta’s gaze. He didn’t notice when Yuta scooted closer to him but right now, their thighs are touching. It gives him comfort, warmth, security. He’s missed this.

“Could you please explain to me what’s going on? I wanna understand.” Yuta’s voice is so soft, but the hint of hurt doesn’t go unnoticed.

That gives Doyoung the push he needed. He’s just gonna say it then. He’s going to say it all as it is!

“You haven’t been giving me affection,” the last word coming out in a whine, a little playful, reducing the tense in the air. Yuta looks a little relaxed at that, squeezing Doyoung’s hand as an indication for him to tell him more. He looks down to their intertwined fingers.

“I don’t know, we haven’t made out in like a week. We haven’t had sex in like a week!” There. He finally got it out there. That’s all it really is. He even emphasised on ‘sex’, Yuta would surely get it.

Yuta knows him so well, so he would know that divorce isn’t what this is about, right? He just got a little carried away there, okay. But why is he so scared of looking Yuta in the eyes now?

When he does look up, though, that glint is back in Yuta’s eyes. They’re all sparkly and alive now, accompanied by a smirk. A smirk! Yeah, Yuta definitely knows what’s actually going on.

He feels the way Yuta is pulling him closer, so he obliges, smoothly climbing and coming to settle in Yuta’s lap. Oh my God, did it just get a little hot in here? Because every point they’re touching feels like fireworks, heat coursing through his entire body. And from the way Yuta is rubbing his sides and licking his own lips, he’s sure Yuta feels it too.

Doyoung leans in, testing the waters. When Yuta doesn’t pull away, he goes all the way. That fleeting second before their lips connect, Yuta mumbles, their breaths mingling, “You could’ve just said that that’s what’s been bothering you.”

And then, crash.

Yuta’s lips are as soft as ever, exactly like he remembers. Maybe softer? Who knows. When he threads his fingers in Yuta’s hair, pulling closer, if it is even possible, Yuta swipes his tongue against Doyoung’s bottom lip. He takes the cue and opens up, their tongues meet. So warm, so wet. He leans in, pushes heavier into Yuta, feeling like he’s intoxicated. He’s so high on Yuta right now and he doesn’t want it to end. He can go on making out for a week straight, to make up for the lost week.

But, ugh! Why must humans need oxygen, need to breathe to live? Doyoung is annoyed, because right now, they need to part to suck in some air, some oxygen. Yuta pulls away first, leaving Doyoung to chase after his taste with a whimper. Doyoung has to stop himself, for he, too, needs to suck in some air into his lungs. He’s panting, breathless, his vision a little hazy from the sensation.

When he focuses back, though, Yuta’s face is just a few centimetre in front of his. His hair all ruffled, his eyes heavy with lust, and his lips swollen, glistening with saliva. They’re all Doyoung’s doing. And then he smiles. That too, is Doyoung’s doing. He always thinks that Yuta has the prettiest smile in the world, nobody comes close.

All of that, in this one frame of his vision, makes him melt into a puddle of softness. He feels like his chest is about to burst, with love, with affection for this man under him. For Yuta. For his husband of four years.  

Oh God.

So, he leans in again, pecking Yuta on the lips, once, twice, three times. His hands reaching around Yuta’s neck, fingers pulling at the hair on his nape. And then he moves to kiss Yuta’s whole face - his nose, his cheeks, his temple, his tired eyes. But when he tilts Yuta’s head to the side, he leaves a particularly open-mouthed, wet kiss right behind Yuta’s earlobe. He knows it drives Yuta crazy, and that’s exactly what he wants.

Yuta, crazy.

As expected, Yuta lets out a throaty groan, making Doyoung smile against his skin. And then he’s pulling Doyoung by the jaw, angling it so their lips meet again. This time a little rougher, as if he’s telling Doyoung that he’s missed this too. That he’s missed Doyoung too.

They go at it, making out for about fifteen minutes now, sometimes parting to just take a breath, and Doyoung really doesn’t want it to end. He wants Yuta glued to him like this. Please!

But then, Yuta pulls away. Again. They’re just making out but Yuta sure looks so fucked out right now. Doyoung can feel how hard Yuta is underneath his dress work pants, but his own hard-on is way more obvious under the sweatpants he’s sporting.

 _Well, at least it demonstrates something for Yuta,_ he thinks.

Yuta is rubbing his thighs up and down, looking at him like he’s the most delicate being in this world. It’s really not helping with how suffocating it is underneath his pants. And then Yuta speaks.

“Now we’ve got the making out part out of the way,” he manages in between short breaths. “Why don’t we save the other part for tomorrow?” 

His smile is sweet, but there’s tiredness behind it. Exhaustion. And then all rationalities reinstall in Doyoung’s head. 

Yuta is an auditor. He just got promoted to Assistant Manager, and he has his own audit team to lead. It’s peak period and he’s auditing a big, a huge firm. Of course he is like this, barely at home. Because that’s what he does, what auditors do, especially around this time of the year. 

Doyoung, of course, would jump at the chance of shower sex if Yuta had agreed. But he doesn’t have the heart to push, because he knows how much Yuta has been working since the start of the week. And the way Yuta looks, sounds right now, taking the lust and his fucked out state out of the equation, he deserves a good, at least 8 hours of sleep, in a warm room, on a soft fluffy bed. 

In Doyoung’s embrace.

An hour later, they’re both in bed, Yuta laying flat on his back and Doyoung halfway on top of him, head resting on his chest. He’s tracing random patterns on Yuta’s soft skin when the latter speaks, “I’m sorry.”

Doyoung stops his ministrations and moves up to lay his head on the same pillow as Yuta, coming face to face. He brings a hand up to trace every curve of Yuta’s face. Sleep is really catching up to his husband now. “It’s okay, I understand.” 

After a beat of silence, Yuta scoffs, giggling a little. Doyoung wonders what could be so funny and gives Yuta a questioning look. “You’re really the needy one, huh?” Yuta answers his mental question. Doyoung blushes so hard at that, moves to hide his face in the crook of Yuta’s neck and hits his chest playfully, making him grunt softly. 

“You love it, though.”

“You’re right, I do.”

This is what they do, they bicker and tease each other all the time. Maybe Doyoung’s been missing this too.

“You know what we need?” he asks, voice muffled against the skin on Yuta’s neck. “Definitely not a divorce,” Yuta says. That makes Doyoung laugh, pulling away enough to look Yuta in the eyes. “Communication. Good communication.” Yuta hums in agreement.

Then he says, “I can’t believe it. We’ve been married for four years yet when what you wanted was to fuck, you asked me if I wanted a divorce instead. You really fluster that easily.” The smirk he’s sporting, even in his half asleep state makes Doyoung want to smack him. So he does. He hits his chest again, this time harder.

“Ouch, that hurts!” he exaggerates, hand grabbing Doyoung’s and pretending to bite it. 

“For someone who wants me to fuck him in the shower in the morning, you sure are defying your luck, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ali wanted a divorce because i ‘haven’t been giving her any affection’ WHEN 85% OF THE AFFECTION I’M CAPABLE OF MANIFESTING DAILY GOES TO HER SMH! 
> 
> The audacity of taking the custody of Xiaojun while only giving me the custody of the cats 😤
> 
> Btw, I LOVE DOYU SO MUCH!


End file.
